gay beef

I have been disgustingly truant, and for that, I apologize.

In my (semi) drunken state I have become increasingly guilty as time progresses and so I have decided tonight that I will confront the hilarious issue of man-love.

Now I am not in any way referring to the special kind of "real" man-love.  I'm talking about the ridiculous charade that goes on between heterosexual men, especially in the workplace.

This is something I observe on a regular basis, and to me it's become something of a quandary.

Every restaurant I've ever worked in is rampant in this arena, even if they no longer work together.  

excerpt:

*male co-worker gently caressing other male co-worker's arm*  "what are you doing later baby?"

"Oh, I was just waiting for you so I could give you a hot beef injection later tonight sweetie buns".

seriously?

Women do not engage in this ridiculous behavior.  We indulge in plain-speak, something men know nothing about.  We say what we mean, and this is somehow something that men consider to be in another language.  

You say. "please vacuum the floor today".  

He hears, "please go to the titty bar and come home drunk".

maybe there is something lost in translation.

But if a man says, "Hey baby you would look hot in a mini, lemme rub your thighs..."  This somehow means, "We're buddies dooood, can you please pick up the slack while I drain the lizard?", and his fake moan thereafter is a resounding YES.

hm.  somehow I think that if I said this to my girls they would either slowly back away towards the door or laugh hysterically in my face.  

The latter being the more probable.