Hallowe’en

Whew! *wipes arm across sweaty brow*

After two days of braving the elements (I have chapped lips to prove it!), I am finally done decorating Vicki's and my own front yard for Halloweeeeeeeen!!!  EE hEE hee hEE

It just so happens that my lovely friend also has the most lovely halloween decorating tool known to man or beast.

This tool, is... (drum roll please...)

a webcaster gun.

This handy dandy little tool of wonder is essentially a hot glue gun that you hook up to an air compressor.  

hm... curious.

This contraption makes the coolest, most realistic spiderwebs I have ever seen.  Oh my fucking god (omfg), I went ape-shit on my house with that thing.

I spent yesterday putting up my tombstones for my cemetery.  

The tombstones that you buy always come with the flimsiest, most retarded little plastic nubs that are somehow supposed to not only make it through the concrete-like clay soil in my front yard, but withstand winds of up to, i don't know... 1 mile an hour.  It fails miserably at both of these tasks.

This year I took a note from V's book and used wooden stakes and then just glued the fuckers to them.  This works fantastically.  It also filled the flesh of my hands up with an infinitesimal amount of tiny angry splinters.  Add that to wind-chapped and over-washed hands and you have bloody stumps that explode little satchels of blood and spit putrescence out at you as you pass.

After getting this all set up I move onto to the painstaking, but totally kick ass, process of web-slinging.  The house looks ghoulishly spooktaculer, and my stubs o' meat also have fucking boils on them now from the hotter than hell ever wanted to be glue gun from hell.  

Did I mention it was a filthy angry bastard from hell?