x words

I like to do crosswords.

there.  I said it.

When I was younger, my nana used to do them all the time.  that is, until her brain went on permanent vacation.  

I used to sit with her in her little living room that never smelled like regular houses and the hard candy always stuck together in one large lump ("hard candy never goes bad", she told me). I wonder why elderly homes smell differently?  is it because there's lots of old stuff inside them?  I don't think that's it, because antique stores don't smell that way.  I'm not sure exactly what it is but I'm sure it has something to do with baby powder.

but I digress...

I used to sit with her and watch her do her little puzzles and think that she was so smart to be able to do them.  I would try to help her, and she imparted her little tidbits of insider information on the crossword puzzle.  apparently if you can't make it through on your own (besides the solution page, you cheater) they even have crossword dictionaries.  

I know !  incredible !

at some point I picked them up and began to gloat over the fact that I was obviously a genius because I was smart enough to do them, and sometimes einstein-like prowess would take over my cerebral cortex and I would even finish one all the way. 

the point of this story is not to talk about my superior intellect, although let's face it, I am pretty amazing, but to talk about my beloved crossword book.

I have had this crossword puzzle book for probably 10 years, maybe longer.  literally.  the same book.

it's finished pages are permanently peeled back from the rest of it.  it might even be a little yellowed but I can't be sure.  it's trusty sidekick is the most perfect mechanical pencil ever invented, and even though I cannot find lead that fits it, it never runs out.

it's fucking magical.

This book always goes on trips with me.  always.  it's been to colorado, iowa, montana, idaho... even more exotic locales like mexico, spain, paris, germany, jamaica and lastly, to belize.

this is where our story comes to it's tragic close.

I left it on the plane into belize city.  *runs and cries*

I can't believe it.  I'm devastated.  truly broken.  I shall never love again.

I left my beloved book like a piece of flotsam, hanging out with unsavory characters like "sky mall" and the maps of more complicated airport layouts, like O'Hare.  

did you hear what i said??  it's keeping company with sky mall ! maps ! instructional booklets ! vomit bags !!!!

I think that last part is what hurts the most.

vomit bags.  

I'm prettier than vomit bags, aren't I?

I have made a terrible mistake and I will never forgive myself.

I know, I know... timehealsallwoundsthere'sotherfishintheseayou'lllearntoloveagain, etc.

*sigh*