peckish and pokey

I'm starving.

all the time.

It's totally annoying.  It's like I live in a food desert.  (did someone say dessert? no, fatty)  I would no sooner leave my house without some sort of food in my possession than I would leave for the desert sans water.

the scary part is that aside from my demon bowl (aka pot), I'm not getting any bigger.  I haven't even gained any weight.  

where the hell is all this food going?!?

aside from this great food debacle I am finally feeling better.  feeling better = only feeling pukey occasionally instead of every waking moment.  and although I still want to sleep nearly all the time I am actually getting a little energy back.

so what's new you might ask... ?

well... I'm going back to school.  I should be starting next month.  I'm finally going to realize (one of) my dreams and become an official bloodletter (phlebotomist).  they'll pay me and everything!

Shawn and I have a couple days off together so we're going to paint the nursery and spend good solid money we barely have on bebe furniture, and I don't mean that swanky brand name sparkly tshirt brand...

I'm starting to get fat enough that people are tentatively asking my sister in hushed voices if I'm pregnant?  so as not to upset the beast.  haha, I can't wait until someone asks me directly just so I can feign offense and say, "NO.  I am NOT pregnant".  haha.  and then wait for them to feel like an asshole before I laugh out loud about it.  

no, really, they'll think it's funny too, I promise...

this post needs no title

my life now consists of...

bizarre food pairings.  

*shawn*  "you want cole slaw and oranges for dinner?  really?  ok..."

vomiting out of thin air for no apparent reason and without warning.

"no, really mom I feel HACK cough choke splat *wipes mouth* fine..."

being completely out of breath because I had to walk from one end of the house to the other.

*chris* "why the hell are you so out of breath?  all you did was bring the laundry in..."

and, *sigh* my favorite, being so backed up that you'd swear I lived on a very strict diet of cheese cheese and more cheese.  

there's more... oh lord there's more, and I haven't even gotten to the yucky bits yet...

what to expect when you're expecting demon spawn

well well well...

just where have I been?

I'll tell you where... with my head in the toilet for the last 2 months.

I think maybe it's prudent to start farther back a bit...

some of you know I haven't been feeling good.  fine.  whatever.  some of you even think I may possibly be dying or at the very least have mono or something since I've been sick for awhile now.

have you ever heard of occam's razor?

well in this case occam is mighty sharp because the most likely hypothesis is that I am *erp* pregnant.

*gasp!*  "the HORROR!!!!!

yes, I know.  all of you should start storing up canned goods and invest heavily in armor for your home.  As I type this I am currently growing the first of my minions to staff the army that will eventually successfully take over this planet, or at the very least, my neighborhood.

It's important to keep in mind that I will flog you heavily in the town square for uttering a bad word about my family, especially the one I am currently incubating, so all negative comments will be taken as threats against the throne.

also, let it be noted that I have sufficiently heard the semi-rhetorical question, "I thought you didn't want kids?" enough times that if I hear it anymore I will start to become hostile, and let's face it... for a 5'3 midge I can be a pretty scary bitch, so lets not push the creepy lady, mmmkay?

so yes, I have hung up the booze, drugs and... um well that's it, unless you count everything else that's good like sushi, caffeine, rare meat, raw oysters, and unbelievably, cold cuts.

I'll try to be around more, but honestly at 10 weeks I'm not over the affection for the vomitorium quite yet.  

so yes, all the pertinent info... healthy, moving around already, not sure of the sex yet but fairly positive it's a boy and also pretty sure I'll live through this.

vicki wants all the baby shower biz (god only knows why) and everyone will be expected to pay homage to the beast.  yes, boys too.  

yes, boys too.  

I may be pregnant and physically worthless but I'm still doing shit my way.